Ex-Kirby Vacuum Salesman

by Omerta
(Illinois, USA)

Most of what you stated was true minus a select few things. When you call them "offensive" you need to realise that these sales people are in a semi-pyramid scheme themselves. Let me iterate by starting from my short experience...oh but before i do, let me say this. I HATE the company but love their vacuums.

They are like the BMW of vacuums (they literally use BMW parts). My ex-gf's mother had one that has remained as powerful as day one with 0 maintenance for 30+ years! (i'm 30 i didn't sell it too her btw). Other than it's weight, it is a spectacular machine, it's as if BMW built an electronic lawnmower for your carpet, and if you REALLY want to see it shine and you own one or have a demonstration ask the salesman for the mattress clean test.

I/they replace the bag with a custom pad clasp that fits over the bag catch, they slap a handle on this beast and vacuum your mattress. The thing is so heavy it weighs down the springs. You would not believe what the pad looks like after a single pass, on even a mattress little over a year old. Anyway, time for the bad news bears.

My first sale me and my friend teamed up and the boss allowed us a loaned machine and at our first sale the owner had 9 vacuums in his closet, I froze up mid pitch then walked out, quit never went back. My friend stayed 2 more weeks sold only 1 vacuum for
$800 under a loan for only %10 of the bill of sale and got a garmin GPS for a bonus and quit.

What this website is missing is the fact that the salesmen have to LEASE the vacuum. Meaning they have to put a down payment on it, and pay for it out of pocket every day it goes unsold so if you get a grumpy salesmen, there's why. Homeowners vacuums go for $100 rebate only, $200 for dysons $150 for mfg warranty. The women at the office do cold calls all day SPECIFICALLY reading a script that they are ONLY allowed to say that they are offering a free carpet cleaning and get paid for every x amount of appointments they schedule, paying no mind to the surprise of a salesman trying to sell a vacuum that they are FORCED to sell out of box, re-use at EVERY cold call, and pyramid. Kirby WILL NOT buy that vacuum back. Over 65% of it's employee's wind up paying off that vacuum after they can't make their rent because of a 0 sale month.

So there you have it, a fantastic product that has a pink fluffy nintendo character named after it that transforms into whomever it sucks in, stealing their identity. When the reality is, it's just a unemployed salesman playing kirbys dreamland adventure pushing buttons not a handle, pretending to be someone else in their parents basements wishing it was more dream than an adventure with kirby.

P.S. I had a long story but it exceeded the char limit )

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